I did not start out lost. For years, I knew exactly where I was and where I was headed and I probably could have called up a spreadsheet to show you. I loved homework, goals, deadlines and tests. I flourished in undergraduate and graduate school. Big Tech Consulting seemed like a great next step–a place that would promise the security of a linear, up-and-to-the-right career with a healthy dose of innovation and creativity.
Over the course of six years, I worked at Silicon Valley startup and Amazon on some of the most cutting-edge products, with some of the most talented and brilliant (and fun!) people I’d ever encountered. And I did well: I climbed the company ladder, amassed stock options, gained the respect of my colleagues, and earned a bundle.
My resume was impressive. My apartment was lovely. My boyfriend was kind and handsome.
It started slowly, with a sense of dissatisfaction, a feeling of being stuck, wanting for freedom of time and deeper fulfillment. I tried to push through it and then I tried to fix it (I was great at fixing things!). I didn’t know how to consider leaving. After all, this was everything I had worked so hard for. This was what my parents back in India wanted for me. This was the pinnacle of success, right?! So I changed roles, changes companies and changed cities.
But it got worse. Every career milestone made me feel emptier. Who was this person? What was my life supposed to be about? Who and what was I working so hard for?
I had succeeded, but I felt like a failure.
I had stuck to the path, but I felt lost.
I had it all, but I wanted to scream, Is that all there is?
On top of my confusion, the achiever in me piled on guilt. How could I possibly complain about a life such as mine? Was I so ungrateful, so foolish? What was wrong with me? Where had I gone wrong?
I was gradually falling apart. My mental and physical health suffered. Anxiety and depression were with me every day. I took long vacations, in hopes of ‘eat, pray, love-ing’ my way around the world and finding peace, but it did not change my situation.
As I started to discover what I really wanted to be doing, and doing more of that, and less of what I “should” be doing, I started to feel truly myself once again—for the first time in a long time. At the same time, I met an amazing coach who started me on a way forward on my own path.
I came to see that knowing your PURPOSE, the true essence of who you are – you unique gifts, passions and experiences… and aligning your career with it, is the secret to a fulfilling life and career. I began to create a life I loved living, not just one that looked good on paper.
Meditation played a huge role in finding my inner genius and unlocking more meaning and fulfillment in my life.
And, then, coaching happened! The more I shared my story and my learnings with friends, and former coworkers, the more I realized that many, if not most, of my peers felt similarly: “I would quit my job, but I don’t know what else I would do.” This seemed all wrong to me–many of the most talented, brilliant, and passionate people I knew, with potential to effect real change and have significant impact, were operating on autopilot and just getting through the day. Partnering with people to find their own answer to this question and activate their passion and purpose became my mission.
I explored and studied feverishly in many different modalities such as the chakra system, subconscious mind programming, embodiment practices, energy healing and mindfulness tools including becoming trained life and mindset coach and mindfulness teacher. I delved into Ancient Indian Spirituality and Positive Psychology, to develop my own coaching methodology and approach. I eventually started my own coaching practice dedicated to helping more men and women who were like me wanting to have an impactful and meaningful career.
And, yes, I’m happy to report that it is, in fact, it is possible to find work that doesn’t feel like work, to look forward to Monday as much as Friday, and to wake up every morning (ok, most mornings) and think “I am doing exactly what I am meant to be doing”…AND that doesn’t require giving up all worldly possessions or your health or your relationships.
In other news, my husband and I are living in Austin, Texas. I enjoy cooking, playing pickle ball, hiking, dancing, yoga, and meditation. I’m 50% A-type, spreadsheets, to do lists and no BS, get-sh*t-done + 50% “woo woo” stars, vedic astrology, human design, manifestation.
Yes, you got into all the graduate programs you applied to.
Yes, your business is doing well.
And, no, you’re not happy. You should be—you know that—but you’re not.
You try working harder. Giving more. Adding another accomplishment to your resume.
Moving apartments. Finding a new partner. Taking vacations. Finding new friends. Changing your appearance. At best, these attempts distract you from your discontentment; at worst, they aggravate it.
Maybe you dread, going to work every day . . . or maybe you just have a nagging feeling that it’s time for the next thing. You want to feel inspired and motivated about your work.
Maybe you lie awake at night wondering if you can ever be free . . . or maybe you just look around your office occasionally and think, “is this it?”
Maybe you’re petrified of losing financial security and the comforts of a clearly defined path . . . or maybe you’re just not sure how to go about deciding what’s next, given all of the opportunities in front of you (the world is your oyster after all).
May be the fear of failure, self-doubts, fear of past failures are holding you back.. or maybe it’s not being validated or understood by your parents and family..
Maybe you hate yourself and the life you are living . . . or maybe you just know you can contribute more, have an impact, do something great. You want to help others.
Maybe you have persisted until your life is at a real point of crisis, like I did . . . or maybe you know don’t want it to get that far—and that, if nothing changes, it will.
Either way, in crisis or in a fog or somewhere in between, you know that something has to change.
As much as your thoughts would convince you otherwise, nothing is “wrong” with you for wanting to live a life with more meaning.
True, you haven’t found clarity on what you want to do with your career just yet. But that’s something we can work on together to decipher.
Admitted — your fear of failure grips you by the throat each time you want to take a step forward. But it’s a belief that can be unlearned. It’s really the first thing we dive into inside the program.
Despite knowing that there is support available for you, I know that you still shudder because you don’t feel confident enough. Your hobbies were put on the back burner when your academic load got heavier.
You’ve hardly seen fellow South Asian immigrants around you actively trying to find “something more” when they all go down the traditional career route seldomly veering away from it. You’ve hardly seen anyone dare take a step and thrive in unconventional paths.
Here’s the thing. When you reignite the confidence with your skills, all the other hurdles (visa included) become surmountable.
I know this because I have made it happen.
I am 100% with you on this! “Time management” is the last thing you want to hear as a professional with 8-hour work days and 20 holidays/a year of corporate life. Club that with tending to your family — it feels nearly impossible. But here’s the thing — you also can’t even take another day of feeling stuck, right?
You’ve been nurturing an interest in creating something more (even if that’s at the back of your mind). What if I told you that you don’t need to manage your “time” but your “energy” to move towards your dream life? Imagine if you’ve got a clear roadmap to living your Dharma created out of your strengths adhering to your time-crunched lifestyle — wouldn’t that give you an extra push to show up for your purpose?
We South Asians hardly have an example of someone doing exceptionally well in unconventional paths. We’ve somehow been handed down conditioning from our culture that the only way to succeed is by becoming a “doctor”, “engineer”, or “lawyer.”
But we live in the 21st century in the world’s most advanced economy. Entertaining the idea of “everything is possible” is not a sugarcoated version of the truth — it is the truth.
When I started my coaching career, I wasn’t aware of all the possibilities. Fast forward, I am now running a six figure business doing something that I deeply care about.
But that’s just me and my passion for coaching. For you, it might involve any other creative talents. We explore your strengths in depth so you can find fulfillment in finances and beyond.
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